Arby n the chief meet Jay and Silent Bob
by Aoryuzen Alpha134
Summary: Just as the title says, over a game of halo 4.


\Dude, you fuckin suck balls./ One player, named Jay insulted crassly referring to the Master Chief figurine's god-awful aiming skills. "Y dun u suk my poel, biyawtch!?" The Chief shot back in Microsoft Sam's voice gunning down Jay's player character in Halo 4.

"Hello there, Chief. Still sucking as usual, I see." Another figurine, the Arbiter deadpanned in Microsoft Mike's voice, with unmovable plastic mandibles and all. "Gou fyk ursifl." Chief retorted. *Sigh* "I would be telling you to shut your goddamn hole, but I, in no way, shape, or form, find it in my best interest to stoop to your level of stupidity." He replied, keeping calm as ever.

Arbiter then dialed his Smartphone to a particular number. *ring ring* *ring ring* "Hello. I see your friend is still at it." Arbiter began. \Yeah, so is yours, who can blame 'em./ Silent Bob's voice resounded from the phone's speaker. "Jesus of Nazareth! You're just one person who is like myself here." Arbiter stated.

\Jay here's been trash talking ever since he got dumped a while ago. Never seen 'im that smashed in years./ \Ya Don't mind shutting your hole for once?/ Silent Bob and Jay said in their respective conversations.

"Shyt ur oen hoel u fuk!" Chief threatened, aiming skills showing considerable improvement. "I has you nao u fuc! Die u faggot!" Chief gloated as his character teabagged Jay's ad nauseam.

\Shut the fuck up! Who the fuck is driving a warthog?/ Croyt's voice sounded from the television via the game itself. "Axe yir mawm dat quest chin, cuz u no wat $h3 s3 sed 2u n bed lasnyt hahahaahhhaa!" Chief retorted further angering Croyt even more.

"Fffuuuuuucck! Asshole!" Chief screeched as Croyt got him in game, respawning afterward. "Nao I haz snipe! Time 2 snaip u 411 hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaahhhahaahaa." Chief chortled as he shot at some really angry halo 4 players.

"Ima snip u all d13d hhahahaaahhahaha." Chief uproariously guffawed as a new kid with gamertag ANGRYGERMANKID420420 showed up and sniped Croyt's and Jay's player characters in succession, Chief killing the kid later, who profusely cussed in German in rsponse.

"Shit. Things are really heating up over there." Arbiter deadpanned. \I'll say, it might as well necessitate the beginning of a change in attitude for once./ Silent Bob replied. "What's next? The mood in Chief's game is going up, down and off the wall like a stoat on fucking down syndrome. Eventually, someone's family will have to step in and stop one of the players' madness." Arbiter stated.

\What's up, motherfuckers!/ "Y helo hot n shmekzie111!" Chief replied trying to woo the adult girl gamer. She was apparently was the one who dumped Jay in the first place, causing him to take it out on Chief and company. \MOM! Get off the goddamn game and help me out with our homework!/ \What have I told you about swear words!/

\Well what do you care if you can't see your kids failing in school. We had this discussion before, now get off it and help us out already./ \You don't manhandle your mother like that!/ \While you abandon our own children, Janelle? No way! As your husband, I am severely disappointed in telling you that I have to do everything to keep our family afloat while you loaf around doing jack shit but play that stupid game day in day out!/ The family argued with the gamer girl, named Janelle, who was a pretty unfaithful wife to begin with.

"Tell ur husbind hez n Ashhoal!" Chief encouraged of the bratty gamer damsel in distress. \Go fuck yourself, ash hole!/ \What you just call me you fucking bitch hypocrite?/ \Oh oh OH GOOODD NOOOOOOOO-/ \Game over! Victory!/ The announcer concluded, with Janelle getting force fed her karmic just desserts.

"Holy shit! That was so annoying, right?" Some parties conversed, including the Arbiter in the background. \I know, thank god for that annoying bitch being shut off./ Silent Bob returned. "I know, right Silent Bob?" Arbiter agreed seeing a random family argument playing itself out being just desserts. \I'd have agreed with you all the same, Arbiter./ "Take care, and see you later." Arbiter finished as he hung up.

"Ooohhh maaaan! That waz sum of da fainist azzkikin I evur did pul awff!" Chief blurted triumphantly in logging off. "I assume that either a. You actually didn't suck balls for once, or b. The other players sucked harder than yourself. I may assume the latter to be true, though I would not rule out the possibility of the former being true. Yet in all likelihood, it could damn well be both for all I care." Arbiter replied.

"TTime 4 me 2 cache up awn sum ZZZZZZZZZZZ!" Chief declared as the figurine set off to bed. "Good night Chief, we may be plastic, but we'll both need to catch up on some sleep for the next day." Arbiter replied as he, too, set off to bed, awaiting the next day.


End file.
